Let me tell ya' little story about our Chuck and Jo;
They took a trip to Italy many years ago;
With their nephew Marty, they met Tom and Francesca;
That's when it started-- "un'avventura romanesca".

 

Walked around all day at the holy catacombs;
Went to get a bite to eat where the Romans have their homes;
In an alley in Trastevere we found a ristorante;
Soon to learn we would become "la gente ignorante".

 

We were sat down by our waiter--a real "fungia faccia";
When you look like tourists then they really know they gotcha;
So we ordered up our supper while outside down came the showers;
Hoped to get a decent meal, but we had to wait two hours.

 

First they brought the pasta and Jo had her a taste;
She quickly spit it out and made a nasty kind of face;
"There's too much salt! It's very tough! For this, I will not pay!"
"Che peccato!" said the waiter, "that's the Roman way".

 

Well, Marty chose to eat his giant donut and drink aqua;
Francesca couldn't eat her pasta, she told us it was "ca-ca";
The waiter asked if everything was to our satisfaction;
That was just the kind of thing that put Chuck into action.

 

Chuck had to be restrained, he nearly popped his cork;
He stared the waiter down and "I grew up in New York!"
"I've tasted lots of pasta, this is schifoso ai cani!"
The waiter turn, we heard his say, "Stupidi americani!"

 

Meanwhile...

 

Tom was really starving when he finally got his fish;
You couldn't see the food because the salt covered the dish;
It only took a bite to make him motor 'cross the floor;
Good thing that they hadn't locked the gabinetto door.

 

Ol' Chuck'd seen enough and he shouted, "I won't pay a dime!"
"The food's no good, my son is sick, you wasted all our time!"
The waiter, cook, and manager came screaming to our table;
"Pay the bill!" said Jo "so we can get out while we're able!"

 

Soon the other patrons started joining in the fray;
Everyone was backing Chuck in not wanting to pay;
Someone tapped Francesca's shoulder asking "Where's your fella?"
Tom had stepped outside to try to purchase an umbrella.

 

The waiter shouted "Listen, this is no New  York pizzeria!"
"You no pay, we throw you out, I'm-a call-a polizia!"
"Go back to New York City you ignorant stranieri!"
His final words exceeded our Italian vocabulary!

 

But Chuck stood his ground, of nothing he was surer;
Some might call it courage, others "testa dura"';
Francesca dropped the cash as we pushed him out the door;
Turned around in time to see a giant donut soar.

 

Legends can be made in the most unusual ways;
The people of Trastevere still recall that day;
'Bout the man from California and his family reknown;
That's the story of Chuck and Jo and how they stood their ground.