Intro:

I want to tell you about this guy
He had a dream way back in 1988--a far-out dream.

He figured he could take a computer and a printer
And a bunch of other stuff..
Wanted to shrink it all in a really small aluminum case--
So's you could carry it around.

Now this was before laptops, before portable phones--
Everyone told him it was a crazy idea -- undo-able!
But he was a believer!

He went around talkin' about how great a gizmo it would be
He called it his personal estimating technology...P-E-T, PET!
They all shook their heads and laughed. "Impossible!" they said;

Well he wouldn't give up
And he knew that somewhere there was someone who could build his dream
And finally wound his way, right here to this very town!
That's where he found somebody who declared  "We'll do it!  No problem!"
He paid his money and walked away quite pleased,
Looking forward to the day when he'd see his dream come true.

But hold on! It didn't turn out like he expected. No, no siree.

This is a story of that guy
His personal estimating technology, his PET
And his trouble, his big trouble.

This is Eddie's Blues

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Flew down on a big plane; showed up yesterday;

Shoulda been here sooner, round the first of May;

Well, I been tellin' everybody not to worry;

'S gonna be A-OK.

​

Well, I opened it this morning, right at 8:15;

Showed it to my lady, said, "It's my PET machine!"

She said, "Eddie, you're such a joker!--

That's the biggest PETI ever seen!"

​

How big is it? Bigger than a B-52;

How big is it?  Looks like an Airstream that grew;

Well, I bought this honkin' momma,

And what am I gonna do?

​

Well, I took it to the big boss, toid him that the deal was done;

He said, "Eddie, you ain't kiddin'..you better pack your bag and RUN;

In fact,  you can hide inside that PET case,

Along with your daughter, wife, and son!

​

How big is it? You seen Refridgerator Perry?

How big is it?  Got room for an elephant and a dromedary!

Well, I bought this honkin' momma,

And what am I gonna do?

​

Well, packed my PET and picked up, I headed Chicago way;

Went to sell it my best friend, told him "It's the only way!"

He loved it till he picked it up--wound up with a hern-I-A!

​

How big is it? Bigger than a mid-sized car;

How big is it?  Put it on wheels if you're goin' very far!

Well, I bought this hefty hummer

Now what am I gonna do?

​

Well, this homeless monsters' got me, but I ain't finished yet;

I'm gonna sell it to Khadafi, use it as a terrorist threat;

And in my grave, I'll have the last laugh,

Safe in my stainless steel PET.

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