[Spoken Intro]
I want to tell you about this guy--
He had a dream way back in 1988--
A far-out dream!

He figured he could take a computer,
And a printer, and a bunch of other stuff
Wanted to shrink it all in a really small aluminum case--
So's you could carry it around.

Now this was before laptops, before portable phones--
Everyone told him it was a crazy idea -- undoable!
But he was a believer!

He went around talkin' about how great a gizmo it would be
He called it his personal estimating technology
P-E-T, PET!
They all shook their heads and laughed--
"Impossible!" they said;

Well he wouldn't give up;
And he knew that somewhere there was someone who could build his dream
And finally he wound his way right here to this very town!
That's where he found somebody who declared 
"We'll do it!  No problem!"
He paid the money and walked away quite pleased,
Looking forward to the day when he'd see his dream come true.

But hold on--
It didn't turn out like he expected; no, no siree.

This is a story of that guy,
His Personal Estimating Technology--
His P-E-T--
And his trouble, his big trouble.

This is EDDIE'S BLUES.

-------
Sent it on a big plane,showed up yesterday;
Shoulda been here sooner, 'round the first of May;
Well I've been telling everybody not to worry,
It's gonna be A-OK.

Well I opened it this morning right at eight-fifteen;
Showed it to my buddies, said "It's my PET machine!"
They said, "Eddie you're such a joker--
That's the biggest PET I ever seen!"

How big is it?
Bigger than a B-52;
How big is it?
Looks like an airstream that grew;
Well I bought this honkin' mama
And what am I gonna do?

Well I took it to the big boss,
Told him that the deal was done;
He checked it out and said, "Eddie you ain't kiddin'--
You better pack your bag and run!
In fact you can hide inside that PET case
'long with your daughter, wife, and son!"

How big is it?
You seen Refrigerator Perry?
How big is it?
Got room for an elephant and a dromedary;
Well I bought this honkin' mama
Now what am I gonna do?

Well I packed my PET and picked, I hit Chicago way;
Went to sell it to my best friend
Told him it's the only way;
Well he loved it 'til he picked it up--
Wound up with a hernia.

How big is it?
Bigger than a mid-sized car;
How big is it?
Put it on wheels if you're going very far;
Well I bought this hefty hummer
Now what am I gonna do?

Well this homeless monster's got me, but I ain't finished yet;
I'm gonna sell it to Ghaddafi--use it as a terrorist threat;
And in my grave I'll have the last laugh
Safe in my stainless steel PET.