[Spoken Intro]
I want to tell you about this guy
He had a dream way back in 1988--
A far-out dream.

He figured he could take a computer
And a printer
And a bunch of other stuff
Wanted to shrink it all in a really small aluminum case--
So's you could carry it around.

Now this was before laptops, before portable phones--
Everyone told him it was a crazy idea -- undoable!
But he was a believer!

He went around talkin' about how great a gizmo it would be
He called it his personal estimating technology
P-E-T, PET!
They all shook their heads and laughed.
Impossible they said

Well he wouldn't give up
And he knew that somewhere there was someone who could build his dream
And finally wound his way
Right here to this very town
That's where he found somebody who declared 
"We'll do it!  No problem!"
He paid the money and walked away quite pleased,
Looking forward to the day when he'd see his dream come true.

But hold on
It didn't turn out like he expected
No, no siree.

This is a story of that guy
His personal estimating technology
His PET
And his trouble, his big trouble.

This is Eddie's Blues

Sent it on a big plane
Showed up yesterday
Should have been here sooner
'Round the first of May
Well I've been telling everybody not to worry
It's gonna be A-OK

Well I opened it this morning
Right at eight-fifteen
Showed it to my buddie  s
Said it's my PET machine
They said Eddie you're such a joker
That's the biggest PET I ever seen

How big is it?
Bigger than a B-52
How big is it?
Looks like an airstream that grew
Well I bought this honkin' mama
And what am I gonna do?

Well I took it to the big boss
Told him that the deal was done
He checked it out and said, "Eddie you ain't kiddin'
You better pack your bag and run!
In fact you can hide inside that PET case
Along with your daughter, wife, and son!"

How big is it?
You seen Refrigerator Perry?
How big is it?
Got room for an elephant and a dromedary
Well I bought this honkin' mama
Now what am I gonna do?

Well I packed my PET and picked up
I hit Chicago way
Went to sell it to my best friend
Told him it's the only way
Well he loved it 'til he picked it up
Wound up with a hernia

How big is it?
Bigger than a mid-sized car
How big is it?
Put it on wheels if you're going very far
Well I bought this hefty hummer
Now what am I gonna do?

Well this homeless monster's got me
But I ain't finished yet
I'm gonna sell it to Kaddafi
Use it as a terrorist threat
And in my grave I'll have the last laugh
Safe in my stainless steel PET